As Gabe gets older and becomes more aware and more interested in fitting into the culture around him I have become acutely aware of how the choices we have made are affecting him. The other day we went to watch the Super Bowl with my dad and though he was politely enthusiastic during the game, during the ride home he talked non-stop about "real football" or soccer as we call it in America. Like many kids around the world, he loves soccer and particularly English soccer. He knows far more about English soccer clubs than about any American teams. Talking about his dreams for the future he said, "Maybe I could be the back-up goalie for Manchester City and then when the starting goalie is hurt I would have my chance!" His words left me feeling sad as I comtemplated the fact that he might never get to see an English football game, let alone play in one. In an attempt to create some enthusiasm for a sporting event he might have a chance of experiencing I said, "Wouldn't it be fun to play for the Chicago Fire Soccer team? Their stadium is near Elijah's house." Resounding silence.Gabe doesn't have many American influences beyond his family. In some ways, our lifestyle is a wonderful opportunity to see and appreciate the wide world. But in another way, I see how we are laying the foundation for an ultimate sense of rootlessness. We try to help him appreciate and love his home country, not for America itself, but to give him a sense of who he is and where he comes from. Our community here in Southeast Asia, though strong and relatively stable, is somewhat ephemeral and will likely not be here in the same form when he is trying to establish himself as an adult. For that reason, we want him to feel comfortable and grounded in the country and the family that he is likely to return to at some point in the next decade. However, at such a distance it's easy for it to seem foreign and uninteresting. I know that it's important to see heaven as our only home, but I also think God made us to feel a bond to our families and our roots. I see many 3rd culture kids struggle as they try to find their place sometimes they fail. I'm never sure how to handle this issue. I don't know whether to talk to Gabe most about the potential difficulties of his situation, thus leading him to believe that he is at a disadvantage (which I don't ultimately believe is true) and different than others or to emphasize that benefits of his varied life and risk leaving him feeling guilty if he feels out of place when he returns the States. It's a dilemma I haven't been able to solve in the 9 years I've been thinking about it.
